consultcriminal

[Hello, Barge. It's Jim, being his normal camwhore self. Whistling a tune, playing Britney Spears in the background, he rests his chin in his hands as he addresses the barge.]

Wardens, I've a question to you. What exactly ties you here? [He waves a casual hand at the camera.] Not those who are dead, of course. That's obvious. But the others? What's the point of your time here? Your deal?

What about those who have no deal? What about those who stay for their inmates? [He's obviously building up to something, as he pauses here for dramatic emphasis.] How many of you pretend to care when you really don't? That is the question everyone wants to know! [He chuckles a bit, overdoing his facial features, also just to prove his point.]

They're just your playthings, aren't they? Or...they seem to feel that way. [A tsk.] Not all inmates. Oh, I know that. [He taps his fingers together slightly as he sits back, away from the camera.] But aren't we supposed to be your number one priority here? You are employed by the Admiral. He is paying you to do your job. [And now he adopts a very concerned look.]

But I understand. Relationships have their place. Trip, you were recently married in port. My dear, dear Trip, please...go off. Enjoy your life. I will be here for you when you return. I have nowhere to go. I have nothing to do but wait...and wait...and wait for your return.

[A long pause.] Though it wouldn't be wise for you to be gone too long. [He cackles and shuts the camera off.]

[Lady Gaga is playing in the background. Loudly. Jim's doing a little dance in his chair.]

This song. I have no idea what the appeal is but I simply can't stop listening to it. Listen. I'll play it again. [He reaches off screen and starts it over and turns it up. Enjoy that for a while, Barge. Then he takes pity and turns it back down.]

It's simply wonderful! So catchy. [To prove it, the dancing starts up again for a few seconds.]

My dear new warden- What sort of name is Trip- I have so much for you to consider. Come on, enjoy this music with me. I'm sure you will love it.

[Private to Sherlock- Text]

sm ha dh dn yo fx gn wu

[Private to Coyolxauhqui]

Goddess, do you enjoy games?

[The barge's newest camwhore is lazily lounging in his chair, dressed to the nines. As usual. He steeples his fingers together as he addresses the camera.] Well, I suppose this isn't too much of an inconvenience. I'm dead, yes? And this whole place, this vast, impossible place...is where I am supposed to get my redemption.

Please tell me if I've gotten that part correct. I do hate to be misinformed. [There's a pause as he sits up, seemingly unconcerned.]

But, not only have you graced me with [chuckle] such an accommodating cabin, you've given us plenty to do to take our minds off the fact that we're...well, in a prison.

[But now he gets excited.] And, you've given me my friend. Twice, even. And his [Oh so disdainfully:] pet.

Jim Moriarty. It's a pleasure.

[Private to Sherlock. His Sherlock.]

Come and find me.

[OOC: As clarification, I'm going to say that he's been here since he was officially accepted, but his bad luck was an inability to get his communicator to work correctly. So he just gave up and began just reading instead. Now that he's sure that it's over (and now that he's seen both Sherlocks plus John), he's going to try again. He's kind of gotten used to this place slowly, either staying in his room or going out when there's no one around.]

[Inmate Filter]

Let's play a game. A secret game. The secret part is what you get when you win. Doesn't that sound fun? [He laughs softly.]

We all have things we're not supposed to have. Now, I don't expect you to tell me what those things are. I know you won't and, honestly, I don't care. but we're all inmates here. Theft should be of little consequence. But here's the game. Take one thing. Only one...and prove to me you have it.

Whoever has the best toy wins. And it's no fun if people get hurt, remember? Then the game's over and no one can play. You don't have to participate, of course. Your arguments of protests are so dull and they're counterproductive.

[He stops, as if he's finished, and then speaks again.] Oh, and don't let anyone else know you're participating. It ruins the surprise.

[OOC: ALSO, I should clarify...this isn't meant to actually happen, unless people actually do want to for some reason... XP He's just testing reactions.]