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( SPOILERS )

[For a few seconds, all that you can hear is pop music and occasionally Moriarty whistling along with the lyrics. He's sneakily showing a shot of Trip, knelt down over a washing machine, attempting to fix it. Moriarty's warden doesn't look happy. He's grumbling to himself, but Moriarty, behind the camera, is snickering. He turns the music up from his phone and uses that to mask his words he's whispering.]

Just admire all of the work that he does. Fixing everything for you. I'm so happy to be a part of this. Honestly I am.

What a perfect punishment.

What next? Kesha or Lady Gaga? My job is to find music to motivate him. Inspire him. What better way than this?

[Moriarty might be the best dressed man in zero. He turns on the camera and balances it on a flat surface. And yes, he wants you all to know that he's in zero. He's wrongfully accused, of course.]

Oh, these wardens. They get so temperamental about each other. I didn't touch Lupin. And here I am. [He spreads his arms out and, as if on cue, the lights flicker a bit and he he shakes his head.] Hm. I was hoping for lightning, but I suppose that this will have to do.

And of course my warden locks me here when we have no idea what is happening. Ghosts. Spirits. It almost seems like torture, doesn't it? Locked up here, frigh-[A spurt of static and the camera cuts off, but the audio continues.] alone and for absolutely no reason.

What does zero teach us?

[Hello, Barge. It's Jim, being his normal camwhore self. Whistling a tune, playing Britney Spears in the background, he rests his chin in his hands as he addresses the barge.]

Wardens, I've a question to you. What exactly ties you here? [He waves a casual hand at the camera.] Not those who are dead, of course. That's obvious. But the others? What's the point of your time here? Your deal?

What about those who have no deal? What about those who stay for their inmates? [He's obviously building up to something, as he pauses here for dramatic emphasis.] How many of you pretend to care when you really don't? That is the question everyone wants to know! [He chuckles a bit, overdoing his facial features, also just to prove his point.]

They're just your playthings, aren't they? Or...they seem to feel that way. [A tsk.] Not all inmates. Oh, I know that. [He taps his fingers together slightly as he sits back, away from the camera.] But aren't we supposed to be your number one priority here? You are employed by the Admiral. He is paying you to do your job. [And now he adopts a very concerned look.]

But I understand. Relationships have their place. Trip, you were recently married in port. My dear, dear Trip, please...go off. Enjoy your life. I will be here for you when you return. I have nowhere to go. I have nothing to do but wait...and wait...and wait for your return.

[A long pause.] Though it wouldn't be wise for you to be gone too long. [He cackles and shuts the camera off.]

[Jim’s not playing music this time. He’s not watching Glee. Rather, he’s playing with a long string. He’s got it wound in his fingers, tangled almost in a knot.]

I watched two children do this once. They had a string and by…moving their fingers, they could make the most interesting designs. Cat’s Cradle. [He shows his seemingly hopelessly tangled fingers to the camera.] Apparently you need two people for this.

[He pauses.] Oh, if only I still had Sherlock attached to me again. That would have made my day so much brighter. [Another pause.] Speaking of useless people, has anyone seen my warden around? [He abandons his project and, with a bit of a dramatic flair, yanks off the string from his hands, shaking out his fingers.]

He’s the one with the name that isn’t really a name. And I’m just so glad to have him. [An eyeroll and then switch filter.]

[Private to Coyo]

Goddess, you have caused quite a stir lately.

[Lady Gaga is playing in the background. Loudly. Jim's doing a little dance in his chair.]

This song. I have no idea what the appeal is but I simply can't stop listening to it. Listen. I'll play it again. [He reaches off screen and starts it over and turns it up. Enjoy that for a while, Barge. Then he takes pity and turns it back down.]

It's simply wonderful! So catchy. [To prove it, the dancing starts up again for a few seconds.]

My dear new warden- What sort of name is Trip- I have so much for you to consider. Come on, enjoy this music with me. I'm sure you will love it.

[Private to Sherlock- Text]

sm ha dh dn yo fx gn wu

[Private to Coyolxauhqui]

Goddess, do you enjoy games?

[Jim's looking a little extra spiffy today. It might be because he didn't like being an animal...so he overcompensates.] The lynx. In some...hm...pagan...societies, the lynx is seen as a symbol of secrecy and wisdom. I've always had a soft spot for those archaic symbols, really.

[Yeah, he's trying to make himself feel better. He pauses, tapping his chin.] Oh, but you know what would be really interesting? If we all looked too much into what this Admiral person does. Yes. Let's all do that! [He waves his hands a bit because he's ~SUPER EXCITED~ and then stops, frowning.]

Or we could just say, oh well, that's the Admiral. I haven't been here long enough to brush it off so easily, I'm afraid.

So, for the rest of you, which is it? What do you generally do after a flood as your...oh, what's that phrase, coping mechanism? Brush it off? Or try and reason it out?

Come now, we just spent two days as animals. Why don't your brains just leak from your ears?

[Private to Coyo]

My dear Coyolxauhqui, do spare a moment for me.

[Private to Olive]

...tell me you have something better than Xena. Speaking of leaking brains, I cannot stand this rubbish any longer.

[Private to HIS Sherlock]

[Singsong voice.] I found your pet! [A chuckle.] Maybe the Admiral really does speak in symbols!

[OOC: As a heads up, Moriarty spent time as a lynx, but...I kinda got distracted by other stuff and forgot to post him. :c So if you want to assume an interaction, that's fine with me! He would mostly just be prowling and sulking.]

[He's so professional today. Moriarty's leaning forward at his desk, with Rhianna's Disturbia playing in the background. He might have been jamming to it earlier. Who knows.]

Dinosaurs! I love dinosaurs! [His hands fly out slightly, as if to make this point more...obvious.] Why wouldn't anyone take me to see the dinosaurs? I find that most unfair! I deserve to see dinosaurs just like everyone else. Instead, I saw them on a screen. [Most. Dramatic. Sigh. Ever. Fortunately, he composes himself enough to continue.]

Did you bring something fun with you, at least? I like treasures just as much as anyone else. Share!

Also, is there just an extremely friendly warden willing to do me a bit of a favour? Just a small one? [He puts his hands a short distance apart.] This small.

[The barge's newest camwhore is lazily lounging in his chair, dressed to the nines. As usual. He steeples his fingers together as he addresses the camera.] Well, I suppose this isn't too much of an inconvenience. I'm dead, yes? And this whole place, this vast, impossible place...is where I am supposed to get my redemption.

Please tell me if I've gotten that part correct. I do hate to be misinformed. [There's a pause as he sits up, seemingly unconcerned.]

But, not only have you graced me with [chuckle] such an accommodating cabin, you've given us plenty to do to take our minds off the fact that we're...well, in a prison.

[But now he gets excited.] And, you've given me my friend. Twice, even. And his [Oh so disdainfully:] pet.

Jim Moriarty. It's a pleasure.

[Private to Sherlock. His Sherlock.]

Come and find me.

[OOC: As clarification, I'm going to say that he's been here since he was officially accepted, but his bad luck was an inability to get his communicator to work correctly. So he just gave up and began just reading instead. Now that he's sure that it's over (and now that he's seen both Sherlocks plus John), he's going to try again. He's kind of gotten used to this place slowly, either staying in his room or going out when there's no one around.]

[Jim's singing . Yeah. Singing. The communicator's on his desk, revealing his room- which is pretty basic, actually. Jim's off to the side, singing Tik Tok. There's music coming from his laptop and he suddenly ~appears~ out of nowhere, singing over the music. No. He's not a good singer. And he's not trying to be. It's just Kesha...]

And the dudes are linin' up cuz they hear we got swagger.
But we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger. [He turns the music down and gives the barge a very serious look.]

Does this girl even know what Mick Jagger looks like? That man is hideous. Come on now, ladies. If you're going to drunkenly stumble into a man's bed, you should at least...phone a friend.

[He sighs a bit and collapses into his chair, suit and all.]

It feels so good to be myself again. Who wants happiness when you can be me...all the time?

[Note slipped to Eddie B.]

I saw your little display. I'm quite impressed, though I'm sure your filters have been taken away. You can leave any return notes in the usual place.

-M

[Private to Sherlock]

[Time for weekly dose of stalker.]

Are you ignoring me? You could hurt my feelings.

[Private to Nygma]

If you can get my file from Bruce, you can have it. I have no access to it.

[In his suit, as usual, but this time he's going to be "social" and sit in the common room. He's watching "Glee" on his laptop, but he's turned the music down. For any who, by some strange chance, might recognize it, this is playing in the background.]

I love this show. The ridiculous episodes, the ever changing cast. It's soooooo much like the real world. [He grins at the camera and flips it over to show the end of the song on his computer.]

Or maybe just a day here. On the barge. [He lets out a gasp and spins the camera back to his face.] Maybe this is a television show! What a wonderful concept for one!

I would watch it.

And speaking of loveable characters [Chuckle] like myseeeeeelf, has anyone seen my warden? Bruce Wayne. Batman. Unfortunately not Adam West.

[OOC: So...I changed my mind for him. This Jim is less of a creeper on most folks- Sherlock excluded. He's also less likely to get bored with talking or interacting with people. JUST FYI. Also, I know that I've been quiet with him. This is hopefully going to start to fix it!]

[Private to Sherlock]

[What's the point of trying to hide now? Watson went and done messed things up. Jim paces for a moment and then slams a book down on the table in front of the camera with the cover facing the screen. It's a copy of some of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock stories. Jim's face is on the screen next, and he's calm, but not at all happy.]

What. Is this? Does your dear, dear blogger think he's funny? Certainly not. [He throws the book across the room casually and folds his hands on the table again.]

And I thought we were friends, Sherlock. You failed to mention this to me? Is that what a friend does?

Nooooo. Certainly not. You broke my heart. [Fake sniffle.]

[Private to Nygma]

[He's calmed down considerably by this point, but he's still very cold.]

You had my file all along. [Smirk.] You needed only to look harder, obviously.

[He can't help it. There isn't anything for him to do now, so he might as well let you all bask in his wonderful glory. He's in his suit, in front of his desk, leaning back slightly. Isn't he cool, guys? He's also dropped the "gay Jim from IT" act completely in favor of something he's a little more used to.]

You know [And he draws that word out forever.] that was a lot of fun. The little...well, who cares about his name...was right. You do turn so delightfully needy when you want something. Already homesick for Mummy? Orrr....Is there someone you left behind?

I do love romance stories. [Have a fake sniffle.] Or perhaps there is a dark secret you don't want to reveal?

Dark secrets? [His voice raises a few octaves.] Here? [And back down.] I know, I know. It's unthinkable.

So let's just move past it, shall we? [Fake cowboy drawl:] Just keep on trucking.

Or...however you barbarians say it.

Let's do something fun.

[Inmate Filter]

Let's play a game. A secret game. The secret part is what you get when you win. Doesn't that sound fun? [He laughs softly.]

We all have things we're not supposed to have. Now, I don't expect you to tell me what those things are. I know you won't and, honestly, I don't care. but we're all inmates here. Theft should be of little consequence. But here's the game. Take one thing. Only one...and prove to me you have it.

Whoever has the best toy wins. And it's no fun if people get hurt, remember? Then the game's over and no one can play. You don't have to participate, of course. Your arguments of protests are so dull and they're counterproductive.

[He stops, as if he's finished, and then speaks again.] Oh, and don't let anyone else know you're participating. It ruins the surprise.

[OOC: ALSO, I should clarify...this isn't meant to actually happen, unless people actually do want to for some reason... XP He's just testing reactions.]

[Jim's going to pretend that he wasn't asleep for a while. That just makes things easier. And less weird...]

Who is really running this ship? I want to say schoolchildren, but honestly, I've seen children act better than this. And I was under the impression that wardens were supposed to be the "good guys."

It's just like being at home.

[Private to E. Nygma]

You didn't tell me what you learned.

[Private to Bruce]

One might think that a warden would want to contact his inmate. But...I could be wrong?

[The camera turns on and a man's standing there, in just a shirt and pants, looking somewhat awkward. Moriarty's been creepering and you guys now and he's...not really impressed. So you don't get Moriarty trying to get information. You get Jim.]

This is brilliant, really. Amazing. This looks just like my room back home. I guess that I should be a little scared of it, since it means that someone’s been watching me.

[As an aside:] Molly was right, though. It could use with a bit of colour.

[And then he turns serious.] But this place isn't right. Not really.

User Name/Nick: Kota
User LJ: N/A
AIM/IM: waningsunflower
E-mail: waningsunflower@aim.com
Other Characters: Iago, Capa, Jane, Beatty, Sveta

Character Name: Jim Moriarty
Series: Sherlock (BBC)
Age: 30s
From When?: Post movie. We’ll say that the vest did blow.

( Under the cut! )